Witch doctor: The Marauders
by QuillDream19725
Summary: Involving the song witch doctor! But this time sung by James and Sirius, singing to impress one, Miss Lily Evans. But will she be impressed? Read and find out! I think it's quite good compared with my last fic. Rated because I don't know. Major jily shipping involved with musical aspects, how can you go wrong?


Hey peoples! Well, the other day I was listening to 'Witch Doctor'. The song. And I've been reading lots of marauder fics so I guess it rubbed off on me. I just kept thinking of James using it to chat up Lily. This is set round abouts sixth to seventh year. Just for fun. So here you go!

Disclaimer: I own neither the marauders nor Witch doctor.

James was tired of being rejected. Any normal people would be. But James had been after Lily for almost six full years now. And he was tired of it.

Maybe he should ask Remus. James was no way in hell asking Sirius again. Last time he had taken Sirius's dating advice it had ended in several broken noses, a slap to the face and a sore backside. But Remus was sensible. Well, he was as sensible as you could get with a marauder. So James went off to find him.

At that moment Sirius himself walked in through the Fat lady's portrait and bounded over to James.

"James, I'm bored! Can I come with you?"

"Fine."

"Yayyyy! Where are we going?" Sirius asked, bouncing up and down with a manic glint in his eyes. He really needed to lay off the sugar.

"To see Remus."

"Whhyyyyyy?"

"I need Lily advice." James sighed, still thinking of the many rejections he had got at the hands of a certain red head. "Then what are we walking for? Come on!" Sirius yelled as though it was drastic, causing several passers by to stare before they were shoved out the way as Sirius grabbed hold of James's hand and pulled him through the alarmed crowd. Some first years only just got out the way in time.

Several minutes later they came rushing into the library, causing the people near the door, to scatter several pages of homework all over the floor. "Come on James! Let's carry on our quest to find the small part of sane of our group, and tends to reside in the library doing whatever it is he does."

"Studying?"

"That's it!" James rolled his eyes but secretly surprised he knew half the words he had spewed during his babble about sanity. As they walked over to Remus, the boy in question turned around as though he had sensed them coming. Probably his werewolf senses, James smiled.

"What do you two want this time? You're going to be the death of me."

"Great to see you too." James replied cracking a grin.

"Never mind. Wait, where's Peter?" Remus asked exasperated.

"Stuck up a tree." Sirius answered smiling evilly, while Remus rolled his eyes.

"You mean you left him up a tree?" Remus already knew the answer to that.

"Yep." Remus sighed then turned to James.

"So what did you want?"

"How did you know I wanted something?" James asked, confused.

"Remus Lupin knows things." Sirius whispered, and waving his arms in a failing attempt at being mysterious. Ignoring Sirius, Remus turned back to James, with a questioning look on his face. James sighed, but before he could say anything, Sirius said it for him.

"He got rejected again!"

"I take that to mean Lily trouble?" Remus asked, grinning sympathetically.

"Hey Witch doctor, give us the magic words!" James answered jokingly, beaming, waving jazz hands.

Remus thought for a minute, before smirking, deciding to play along. "Alright. You go: Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!"

Sirius laughed, cottoning on. "Alright! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!" Then he grabbed James by the arm and pulling him off to find Lily, and leaving Remus to smile and shake his head.

As they galloped along the corridors, both James and Sirius had taken up the chorus and were singing it amidst laughing. They had no idea where Lily was, so they decided to take the scenic route. This also meant passing as many people as possible. After about eight repeats of the chorus, they found Lily in the Gryffindor common room.

As soon as she saw them she tried to push past the crowd to make her escape to the dormitories. But giggling her best friend Marlene McKinnon, pulled her back giggling and forced her onto the plush red sofa in front of the fireplace and then beckoned the two marauders towards them. They then prepared to woo Lily.

James started singing accompanied by cheesy and ridiculous dance moves. "I told the Witch Doctor I was in love with you!" He sang pointing at Lily whose eyebrows were growing higher into her hair. Sirius joining in devised his own backing track to the song. "Dow dow dow dow!" in a deep voice.

"I told the Witch Doctor I was in love with you!"

"Dow dow dow dow!"

"And then the Witch Doctor he told me what to do!"

Several third years and fourth years were now laughing at their bizarre antics. Even Lily was beginning to smile.

"He told me: Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!" the two boys sang, obviously enjoying themselves immensely.

Sirius and James then decided it was a good time for a dance break. The both of them began setting out a performance of incredibly fast and clever footwork, while people clapped them the rhythm. Most people had always been amused by the Marauders. Then they abruptly turned back to the song.

"Dow dow dow dow!"

"I told the Witch Doctor you didn't love me true!" At that the two mischievous idiots mimed telling Lily off, who was now laughing at the boys.

"Dow dow dow dow!"

"I told the Witch Doctor you didn't love me nice!" now the boys were faking looks off disappointment while waggling their fingers at Lily.

"Dow dow dow dow!"

"And then the Witch Doctor he gave me this advice!"

"Everybody now!" Sirius roared. And indeed everyone in the common room started singing the chorus along with the two marauders. Remus who had just entered confused, but broke down laughing and decided to sing along with the rest off Gryffindor tower. Even the students who were in the dormitories had come down to see what the racket was.

"Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!" everyone was chanting. "Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!"

Then they all collapsed laughing while Sirius pulled a half heartedly protesting Remus to the front. James grabbed Lily, Sirius pulled Marlene up, while Lucy was paired with Remus. The three couples started jiving to the rhythm of the clapping which Zoe and Sarah were conducting as well as dancing.

Then the girls skipped to the side while the boys continued singing, Remus included.

"Now you can't keep your love from me just like you were a miser! And I'll admit it wasn't very smart!" James directed these words to the love of his life, a Miss Evans.

"So I went out to find myself a guy that's so much wiser, and he told me the way to win your heart!"

At these words both Sirius and James pointed at Remus, while people laughed at Remus' look of shock.

Then Sirius and Remus carried on:

"Dow dow dow dow dow dow dow!"

"And everybody join in!" All three boys shouted. And that's including you, reader. "Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!" Now shouting to the audience: "Come on and: Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang! Ooh eeh ooh ah aah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!" They finished with a flourish, bowing. Then James turned to Lily awaiting judgement. She smiled finally accepting him, and kissing him. Most of the Gryffindors cheered, while others wolf whistled and started swapping money, because of all the bets placed over the years.

So yeah. Hope you enjoyed it! Zoe is one of my best friends who I've turned into a character in this. She does not have an account. Lucy however is also a very good friend, and her pen name is A30LUCY1 if anyone feels like giving her stories a read, especially if you like MI high. And I'll let you guess who Sarah is! :)

Also please check out my other two ficlets, both harry potter related. And if it's not too much review them? I'm sure you'll enjoy them.

If you've enjoyed this please, please review! It takes 10 seconds at most, not too long. If you want more of these things just tell me they're fun to write! So please?


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